OK, I have to start by saying this blog is along the same lines as my blog about the book Free Range Kids. I think people can get way out of hand when they are pregnant and trying to deliver a perfect baby. The reason I believe this comes from my basic, foundational belief that all babies are miracles, and in reality, we have little control in their arrival into this world. First let me assure you... I do believe in prenatal care, and have even found myself thankful for some of the things doctors have the ability to diagnose and treat,but that being said, I think we tend to give doctors far too much credit for knowing everything about our pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum care.
If I knew anything about computers, I would make a graphic that shows the rank of how I see who is in charge here. WAY up on the top would be God, down a long ways would be doctors, and almost neck and neck with doctors would be the mother. In some cases, I would say the mother is higher than the doctor, but it just depends.
Anyway, since I'm pregnant with my 8th child right now, this topic is very much on the front of my mind. My ideas have evolved throughout my pregnancies, but basically I've held the same belief all along - people need to chill.
When I was pregnant with my first, I was offered money (I can't remember how much it was - $10?) to go to a class for pregnant women discussing nutrition during pregnancy. At this early point in motherhood, I was already pretty sure that it was ok to eat anything, in moderation. I mean, it seemed that if I really listened to my body and tried to feed it what it was asking for, I would be okay. I learned (not at this class) that if my body was asking for things like dirt or paint chips, I was missing some nutrients, but other than that, just EAT already! The instructors proclaimed that eating cold cuts, unless thoroughly cooked (yuck) made us in danger of getting listeria. I can't remember the reason against this, but the funniest thing to me was them telling us not to eat soft cheeses like Feta. How on earth have the Greeks made it this far?!?! There may be a bunch of Mediterranean women coming at these experts with clubs and rakes if they try to take away their Feta! I'm pretty sure they also said fish was bad (mercury). When they were finished, they had a room full of good-hearted mommies (except me, I guess) that were afraid to eat anything but cheese (only hard kinds) and crackers for the rest of their pregnancies - oh and if they were going to nurse, until they were done with that.
I have another confession to make....I have had Starbucks throughout all my pregnancies. This definitely fits into the same category as normal food - in moderation, it's fine! So far (my oldest is 10) I haven't noticed (or maybe am to jittery to see) any adverse effects from my caffeine intake when I am pregnant. And, if you ask my husband, you would have to pry the white cup with the green lady on it out of my cold, dead fingers.
Do you have a cat? This furry, lovable creature can harbor horrible deadly diseases in its litter box, so BEWARE and never go near cat poop! There is a parasite that can give a woman Toxoplasmosis, which is a serious thing. However, the chances of getting is are extraordinarily rare (and a lot of women are already immune, too), even though this parasite can be found in other places besides just cat doo-doo (it can be in raw meat, gardens, etc.). I don't know about you, but I have never cleaned the litter box out with my hand - the scoop is my friend. AND, I always wash my hands after touching the friendly scoop. Of course, I don't mind if someone else wants to clean the litter box for me, but I don't think it's smart to live in fear if I happen to clean it.
One recommendation that has always made me laugh is advice on sleeping positions for moms-to-be. I remember my mother-in-law telling me she heard it was best for the baby to sleep on her back. This was in the 70's. Now they say sleep on your left side. I say - SLEEP! For me, it's never really comfortable to sleep on my back, and obviously it's really hard to sleep on my tummy, but I'm pretty sure I would have incredible bed sores if I only slept on my left side. It makes me sad to think that there are mommies out there losing sleep because they are afraid of not being on the correct side. Sleep is so precious when you're pregnant!
I certainly don't want to make light of all the tragic things that have happened to babies whose mothers used drugs or abused alcohol. And there are examples of good-hearted mothers who took medicines prescribed to them by their doctors that had horrible consequences on the infants. As I said before, I do believe in prenatal care (although for me, the most important thing is hearing that precious heartbeat!) There is a place for medical care, but I think we give the field WAY too much credit and responsibility for the health of our newborns.
You may have noticed the similarity of the title of today's blog with another popular (understatement) book that pregnant women read. I think I had just peed on the pregnancy test with my first baby and gotten a positive result and this book dropped out of the sky. (Actually a friend gave it to me.) I flipped through some of the pages and realized quickly that this pregnancy "bible" could put a lot of fear into my heart. It outlines pretty much everything that can go wrong and when you're hormonal and emotional and it can feel like all these things are actually going to happen to you. I'm not saying we should have a book-burning party. I actually still have my copy, but instead of reading it cover to cover each time I'm pregnant, I use it as a resource - like a reference book. Here's an example: when I was pregnant with #1, I had a horrible charlie-horse cramp in my calf. I looked in the index and found this could be common in pregnancy, I should take it easy, and eat bananas. That was helpful to me, and I was grateful for the advice.
I love being pregnant. Not because I don't have any of the discomforts that go along with it, but because it's amazing to me that, with very little effort on my part, there is a creation growing inside me, designed by God with a plan and a purpose. He is the One who makes these tiny humans from a single cell and grows them until they can be in our arms. I'm waiting with "expectation."
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