Secret of a Happy Marriage - Part 2

This post is kind of a sequel to my post on marriage the other day.  I had said at the end of that post how important it is to remember that you are on the same team as your spouse.  The enemy of our souls wants ALL Christians to be pitted against each other, which is why he attacks unity so viciously.  How much more is he going to go after the most important example of unity and Christ's love - MARRIAGE.
It's so easy to be negative - and then, that negativity breeds more negativity.  When I'm already irritated, something simple like not being able to find my keys or dropping a handful of "stuff" (which in my pregnant state - I'm constanty doing!) it's so much easier for me to fly off the handle and make a big deal over something so dumb.  Thankfully, this is usually when the Holy Spirit stops me and reminds me what I'm getting irritated about and helps me put things in perspective.  Losing a child's shoe is no big deal, when some people have gone through the pain of losing a child.  Not being able to find my phone is nothing compared to service men and women who can't just call or text home whenever they want, let alone BE home.
Anyway, the point I want to make today has been made so many times: I think of the old church chorus that says,

"Count your blessings,
name them one by one, Count your blessings,
see what God hath done! Count your blessings,
name them one by one,  And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done."

Also, we just had our annual viewing of "White Christmas" a few weeks ago.  The sweet lullaby by Bing is one of my favorites.
Writer: PORTER, COLE

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

Of course, some people are marked as "Pollyanna" types, usually painted in a way that makes this out to be a bad thing - is it?

One more "blessing" thought is "The Power of Postive Thinking," by Norman Vincent Peale.  I have to be honest here and admit that I have never read this book, but I remember it being one of my dad's favorite books when I was growing up, and I think the name kinda says it all.

My whole point today is this - make a decision to get off the negative train.  It is powerful to think positively.  What does this have to do with marriage?  I'll tell you.  I've been there where a negative thought creeps in about Kirk.  If I let it stay in my mind, another negative thought will join that one.  Negativity breeds negativity.  If I think the worst about someone, how I treat them will be affected more and more.  My challenge to you today is to make a list of all the things you love about your spouse, the things you are thankful for, the ways that person blesses you.  Count the blessings of your spouse.

Here is a partial list for me:

I' m so thankful for Kirk's work ethic.  I can't think of anyone I know who works as hard as him.  He leaves before any of the rest of us are awake, and works ALL day!  Even so, he still makes sure I have time to sit in a comfy chair and relax.

I'm thankful for his financial restraint.  Honestly, this is probably our biggest area of dischord in our marriage, but if I truly had my way and could just spend willy-nilly, we'd be broke, and have serious debt.  He is a simple person (as far as possessions go) and is resourceful and wise with the money God has blessed us with.

I'm thankful for Kirk's involvement with our kids.  No one could ever accuse him of being a "stand-offish" dad.  He is more willing than I am to take ALL seven kids grocery shopping, to CSU sporting events, basically anywhere.  He changes diapers, gets kids ready for bed, and lets me sleep in on Saturdays.



I know you may be thinking...."Cara must have a perfect husband."  (well, you're just about right) "How can I come up with a list of blessings!??!?!  You don't know my situation or what my husband or wife has done to me!!"  Yeah, some of you may have to dig a little deeper, but may I propose that by thinking and then treating your spouse more positively, they may in turn respond the same way.  I understand for many of you this means eating a ginormous slice of humble pie and being the initiator in being "nice," but who knows....you might find yourself to be already married to the man or woman of your dreams.