Wednesday's Worship: Swept off my feet by Jesus

We haven't done this one at our church, yet, but I may work it up for a special one of these days.  It's beautiful!

How many children are too many?

Unless you're living under a rock (I'm pretty close to that) you most likely know the Duggar family is expecting their 20th child next spring.  I first saw the big news on my Yahoo home page when I was getting ready to check email.  I read the story, then made the mistake of reading through many of the comments.  I think I counted about 3 positive comments out of about a thousand negative ones.  Most people I actually know don't have any problem with the Duggar brood, and the few people I've discussed it with are excited for them.  I have never met the Duggars personally, so the only thing I know about them is from their show, books, or website.  Judging from that, and NOT the vast amount of opinions out there, they seem like the real deal to me.  They didn't go looking for fame - it came courting them. 
The main reason I'm probably most interested in what people are generally saying about the Duggars, is because, although we have a way smaller family, we do have a lot of the same views, and I have some concerns about some of the things I've heard lately regarding children.
I read an AP article in the newspaper recently that discussed preparing to become a parents much like how to buy a new car.  It may as well have said, "Make sure you have enough money for fuel, insurance, and maintenance!"  There is also PSA I've heard on the radio a couple of times that describes having a baby completely from an economic standpoint, encouraging couples to really weigh the costs and benefits.  REALLY?  That's what a baby is?  An economic investment?  If that is really what you're looking for, I guess you really will be disappointed.
I get it.  Kids are expensive.  So are cable television, eating out all the time, brand new cars, and large houses.  I don't have anything against anyone who spends money on these things I've mentioned, but those are all much more socially acceptable than bringing a new life into the world.  We get asked all the time how in the world we make it.  I'm a stay-at-home-mom, and we just moved to a large (certainly not perfect) house this year.  I can't speak for anyone else, but I know that God has provided for us.  We live in, what I like to call, "Opposite World."  It doesn't make ANY sense that we are doing better now financially, than when we had just 2 children.  All I can do is quote Psalm 127:3-5 and state emphatically that it hasn't been anything we have done:

Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from Him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are the children born in one's youth.
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.

Without a doubt, it's probably not a good idea to get married and start a family just to have financial success, but I know for us, we made a decision that we felt God was leading us to fully put our TRUST in Him in the area of family planning, and He has never ever let us down.
I can't even say that I've had perfect, problem-free pregnancies and deliveries, but I believe every time something hasn't gone according to plan, God has used that situation for His Glory and as a chance to turn our eyes completely to Him.  I know Michelle Duggar has also received a lot of criticism because of her last baby's premature birth.  First of all, what happened in this pregnancy could happen to any woman who has any amount of children, but people fail to remember that this baby is doing great right now, and so is Michelle!  Many people have said, "Aren't the children you already have enough!?!"  Just because something very difficult happens doesn't mean that you change your life's values as a result.  Most people don't give up driving if they have suffered through a car accident.
Another major criticism of the Duggars is their use of resources.  This one always drives me crazy to hear from people in this country.  I seriously doubt anyone has gone without a meal because they live near the Duggars.  Speaking for my family, yes, we do have a very big van that doesn't get great gas mileage (sorry, we can't fit the Rohdes in a Prius), but since we only need to drive this when we are all together going somewhere, it gets out of the garage about 1 to 2 times a month.  We do use paper plates for most meals, but from an ecological standpoint, we would use more water to wash dishes than it costs to produce and buy paper plates. The Duggars have done episodes on thrift store shopping.  We have been so blessed to receive clothes from many friends.  My friends have good taste, and thankfully, we have had to purchase very little clothing for our kids, and when we do, our first stop is undoubtedly a thrift store first.  Instead of using a crazy amount of resources, I feel like many large families are great at being "resourceful," and making the most of what they have.  I guess living in Wyoming, someone may have a very difficult time convincing me how "overpopulated" this world is.
One question a lot of people have for Michelle Duggar is how she can truly take care of all of those kids.  I've heard, "There is no way she can give all those kids the attention they need and deserve."  On a smaller scale, I've heard the same thing.  One thing I think people forget is CHILDREN GROW UP!  I would be shocked if the Duggar's oldest was coming around everyday looking for mommy's attention.  Having 20 babies to take care of would be REALLY hard, but Michelle has all ages.  Not many children want their parents following them around participating in everything they do (nor is this healthy.) Of course, the Duggar children probably aren't involved in every extra-curricular activity out there, but some of the harried, over-busy children we have running around society today would probably welcome that.  Do they work hard?  Probably, but it seems from what I have seen that they make it fun.  When parents wait on their children hand and foot, they send them into the real world without a true understanding of WORK.  This is something I'm trying to get better at.  I tend to do more for my kids than I should, because I have a hard time letting go of some perfectionism, but I'm truly not doing my kids any favors by not making them take responsibility around the house.
I know the Duggars have  the view that their daughters should stay under their parent's roof until they get married.  This is completely NOT a popular view in this society, but having done more or less the same thing myself, I can definitely see it's benefits.  (I'll probably save that can of worms for another blog.)  I'll leave you today with this you tube video.  I saw it a few years ago, and all I can say is - we are doing our part to prevent a Muslim takeover:)

Friday Fun Day: Remembering Your Heritage




Grandma & Grandpa with my dad

11-11-11.  One hundred years ago today, my grandma was born, right around 11 o'clock, I've always been told.  It was always so fun to have such a neat birthday in our family.  Even more fun is taking the time to remember her.
She was a dark-haired German woman whose grandparents had emigrated from Germany.  Strong-willed doesn't even began to describe her.  I remember my dad and her fighting over who would pay the bill at a restaurant - getting the waitress involved, unwillingly - and trying to sneak over to the cashier without the other noticing. 


Grandma & Grandpa Stearns

She became a widow much earlier than anyone expected at the age of 64.  This was a year before I was born, so I never got to see her relationship with my Grandpa.  (I would have loved that.)  What happened as a result of my grandpa's death was a determination to make things ok. (She probably had the determination before, but I think it really sprang into action as a result of her circumstances.)  At the young age of 65, she taught herself how to drive.  From the stories of my dad and his siblings, this was pretty hilarious.  She thankfully practiced out on her ranch, doing donuts in the field and sending gravel flying peeling out on the dirt roads. 
She also took a fledgling ranch that was barely surviving and turned it around.  When she died at the age of 92, she was able to leave an inheritance to her children, even after spending time in a nice nursing home.  She wasn't a miser though, and each Christmas, bought everyone in the family Christmas gifts.  The long-standing family joke is Grandma's statement every time one of her gifts she had given were opened.  "If you don't like it, you can take it back."  In my family, this has become a traditional phrase, even when it's something homemade.


Grandma with her grand kids and great grand kids - 2000

When Kirk and I were missionaries with Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship, she faithfully supported us each month, never ever missing a single month.  She was so proud of all of her grand kids.  She loved to see the godly heritage that had been passed down from the time her mother was given a gospel tract, to her grand kids that were continuing to minister the gospel through different places like Master's Commission, Chi Alpha, and all kinds of missions trips.
A few years before she died, my sister video taped Grandma answering a bunch of questions about growing up, Grandpa, raising our dad, etc.  What a precious keepsake that is!  This is my offering to you for Friday Fun Day.  Take some time to listen to some old family stories.  The technology of today is so amazing and makes it easier than ever.  You can "skype" with someone who lives across the country.  I encourage you to  go deeper than the normal, "How's everyone doing?" type questions and ask them some questions about their childhood.  From my experience in working with older adults (or really anyone, for that matter), they don't mind sharing their personal memories and typically will give you more information than you ever imagined.  My kids love when I tell them stories about my childhood or when my parents share things I did as a child (usually embarrassing).
When I was in college, I had an assignment to create a family history book.  Since it was for a grade, I had motivation to get pictures and stories from my parents that I had never heard.  It's so easy to be egocentric, and completely focused on today and the future, but forgetting our heritage and letting it slip away with the generations costs us more than we could realize. (Pictures are from my cousin, Neil Skea's Facebook Page)

Only 22 days away!

I saw this on several people's FB posts and thought it was hilarious.  Even so, today I'm posting a Christmas craft.  I debated if I should wait, but this craft is a little more extensive than many that I have posted AND it's an Advent Calendar, so if you decide to make this, you probably want it done before December:)  I first saw this on a blog I love called 320 Sycamore.  She was just using it as an example of what you could do with little buckets, but the actual craft is from Pottery Barn. 

I did a little research and found that, even though PB doesn't make these anymore, when they were, they sold for $299!  I found a blog that gives a tutorial here.  I also wanted to put this craft up now because Target has had cute little buckets in their $1 bins for quite awhile now.  When I make mine (hopefully this weekend) I'll have a mix of white and galvanized steel buckets.  Instead of painting the numbers on, I plan on getting cute number stickers from Hobby Lobby.  I'll try to post some pictures when I have a completed project.  Happy Crafting!

What expecting mothers can expect others to say when they're expecting...and other pregnancy stuff

OK, I have to start by saying this blog is along the same lines as my blog about the book Free Range Kids.  I think people can get way out of hand when they are pregnant and trying to deliver a perfect baby.  The reason I believe this comes from my basic, foundational belief that all babies are miracles, and in reality, we have little control in their arrival into this world.  First let me assure you... I do believe in prenatal care, and have even found myself thankful for some of the things doctors have the ability to diagnose and treat,but that being said, I think we tend to give doctors far too much credit for knowing everything about our pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum care.
If I knew anything about computers, I would make a graphic that shows the rank of how I see who is in charge here.  WAY up on the top would be God, down a long ways would be doctors, and almost neck and neck with doctors would be the mother.  In some cases, I would say the mother is higher than the doctor, but it just depends.
Anyway, since I'm pregnant with my 8th child right now, this topic is very much on the front of my mind.  My ideas have evolved throughout my pregnancies, but basically I've held the same belief all along - people need to chill. 
When I was pregnant with my first, I was offered money (I can't remember how much it was - $10?) to go to a class for pregnant women discussing nutrition during pregnancy.  At this early point in motherhood, I was already pretty sure that it was ok to eat anything, in moderation.  I mean, it seemed that if I really listened to my body and tried to feed it what it was asking for, I would be okay.  I learned (not at this class) that if my body was asking for things like dirt or paint chips, I was missing some nutrients, but other than that, just EAT already!  The instructors proclaimed that eating cold cuts, unless thoroughly cooked (yuck) made us in danger of getting listeria.  I can't remember the reason against this, but the funniest thing to me was them telling us not to eat soft cheeses like Feta.  How on earth have the Greeks made it this far?!?!  There may be a bunch of Mediterranean women coming at these experts with clubs and rakes if they try to take away their Feta!  I'm pretty sure they also said fish was bad (mercury).  When they were finished, they had a room full of good-hearted mommies (except me, I guess) that were afraid to eat anything but cheese (only hard kinds) and crackers for the rest of their pregnancies - oh and if they were going to nurse, until they were done with that.
I have another confession to make....I have had Starbucks throughout all my pregnancies.  This definitely fits into the same category as normal food - in moderation, it's fine!  So far (my oldest is 10) I haven't noticed (or maybe am to jittery to see) any adverse effects from my caffeine intake when I am pregnant.  And, if you ask my husband, you would have to pry the white cup with the green lady on it out of my cold, dead fingers.
Do you have a cat?  This furry, lovable creature can harbor horrible deadly diseases in its litter box, so BEWARE and never go near cat poop!  There is a parasite that can give a woman Toxoplasmosis, which is a serious thing.  However, the chances of getting is are extraordinarily rare (and a lot of women are already immune, too), even though this parasite can be found in other places besides just cat doo-doo (it can be in raw meat, gardens, etc.).  I don't know about you, but I have never cleaned the litter box out with my hand - the scoop is my friend.  AND, I always wash my hands after touching the friendly scoop.  Of course, I don't mind if someone else wants to clean the litter box for me, but I don't think it's smart to live in fear if I happen to clean it.
One recommendation that has always made me laugh is advice on sleeping positions for moms-to-be.  I remember my mother-in-law telling me she heard it was best for the baby to sleep on her back.  This was in the 70's.  Now they say sleep on your left side.  I say - SLEEP!  For me, it's never really comfortable to sleep on my back, and obviously it's really hard to sleep on my tummy, but I'm pretty sure I would have incredible bed sores if I only slept on my left side.  It makes me sad to think that there are mommies out there losing sleep because they are afraid of not being on the correct side.  Sleep is so precious when you're pregnant!
I certainly don't want to make light of all the tragic things that have happened to babies whose mothers used drugs or abused alcohol.  And there are examples of good-hearted mothers who took medicines prescribed to them by their doctors that had horrible consequences on the infants.  As I said before, I do believe in prenatal care (although for me, the most important thing is hearing that precious heartbeat!)  There is a place for medical care, but I think we give the field WAY too much credit and responsibility for the health of our newborns.
You may have noticed the similarity of the title of today's blog with another popular (understatement) book that pregnant women read.  I think I had just peed on the pregnancy test with my first baby and gotten a positive result and this book dropped out of the sky. (Actually a friend gave it to me.)  I flipped through some of the pages and realized quickly that this pregnancy "bible" could put a lot of fear into my heart.  It outlines pretty much everything that can go wrong and when you're hormonal and emotional and  it can feel like all these things are actually going to happen to you.  I'm not saying we should have a book-burning party.  I actually still have my copy, but instead of reading it cover to cover each time I'm pregnant, I use it as a resource - like a reference book.  Here's an example:  when I was pregnant with #1, I had a horrible charlie-horse cramp in my calf.  I looked in the index and found this could be common in pregnancy, I should take it easy, and eat bananas.  That was helpful to me, and I was grateful for the advice.
I love being pregnant.  Not because I don't have any of the discomforts that go along with it, but because it's amazing to me that, with very little effort on my part, there is a creation growing inside me, designed by God with a plan and a purpose.  He is the One who makes these tiny humans from a single cell and grows them until they can be in our arms.  I'm waiting with "expectation." 

Friday Fun Day - Don't Follow the Rules!

I have to admit.  I tend to be a rule follower.  Being one of these people, I think in most cased it is a good thing to "stay within the lines."  But, I do find myself admiring people who are less afraid of getting in trouble than me, and <GASP> even take pride in seeing what happens if they don't do exactly what the rule book says.  "What does this have to do with 'Friday Fun Day'?", you might be asking yourself. 
Well,  I am married to someone who is a little less rigid when it comes to rules and sometimes (emphasis on sometimes) I can see that it's ok to NOT follow the rules.  This may not be a novel idea to many of you, but I'm guessing if you ARE like me and feel this crazy need to do things as written, it may be refreshing to hear.
I know the suspense is killing you - what insane laws is Cara breaking?  What has Kirk talked her into doing?  Will she spend Christmas in jail this year?  Um....no, if you're not into rules, this will probably sound dumb.
Anyway, Kirk started getting some of our old board games out that have too many.... (wait for it) RULES, and adjusting them so almost everyone in our family can play (at least down to the 4 year old.)  We did this with Guesstures when we were on vacation, and it was so fun and easy to play. We just used the cards, which essentially made it Charades, but we didn't have to spend time coming up with answers.   It was HILARIOUS to see our 4 year old doing the same action over and over and over, expecting us to get here clue, and giggling "NO!" for each wrong answer.  For some people (myself definitely included), it's kind of hard to take one component of a game and forget the points, all the pieces, even the BOARD, but it's actually ok!  The game police did NOT bust down our door and haul us off for not using the timer!
You can do the same thing with Pictionary, maybe ditching the board and just drawing pictures and guessing in teams.  With Scrabble, you could divide the letters evenly, and just see what crazy nonsense words you could come up with - then try to come up with meanings.  (I guess that's a little like Balderdash, too.)
If you happen to be in the same stage of life as us - having  kids of all different ages - I encourage you to take a look at some of those games that may be collecting dust until you wait for those littles to grow up and be able to count money in Monopoly and play as a family.  I'd love to hear some of the board games you play together, rule following or not.  Have a great Friday!

I LOVE praising to this song!  We do it a little different at our church, but Oh my goodness, it's fun!  Sorry this isn't an actual video, but it had the best sound of all the ones I could find on you tube.

Go ahead and go crazy praising Jesus!